I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
