Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
