I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
