took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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