I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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