does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
