you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
