I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
