He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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