look no pants
Don't make out with my wife yet
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Randomize
