i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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