i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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