Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
