why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
So many bounce houses so little time
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
