Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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