She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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