Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
