Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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