Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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