How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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