bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
