Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
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