My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
