Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
