My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
