Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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