is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
