drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
