He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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