You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
