I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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