I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
