Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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