sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Come share oat with me in your robe
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
