I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
