Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
