"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
