i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
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