I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
So vagazzling was a success
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
