Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
even my farts smell like vagina
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
