So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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