I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
