erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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