Already got asked if we're dating
I think I am morally bankrupt
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
