don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
