theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
