just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
