Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
If that was your dad, he is hot
no, he came in my armpit
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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