I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
