In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
