pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
We just shotgunned beers for America
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
