Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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