i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize