You work out of a Hotel?
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
