Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
