Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
