i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
