Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
