Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize