what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
