on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
im holly from the hills drunk
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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