3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
i am craving dick and cupcakes
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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