this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
