Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Randomize