Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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