you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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