A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
