i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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