Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
